This past weekend I had the opportunity to spend sometime with Greg. Greg challenged other and I as he shared how God has been molding and shaping Him. As I listened to Greg share his struggles, his utter brokenness before God, my heart was touched. He was real, humble, honest and most important broken before God.
In life its easy to begin to take on task and think that you can handle it on your own. No problem- I got this one God. In ministry its just as easy to do the same thing. Nicole is reading Fresh Power from Jim Cymbala and she was challenged with a thought that goes something like this:
- If the Holy Spirit was removed from most churches there would be no noticeable difference. This thought points out the fact that many churches are working under there own power.
My friend Greg humbly admitted that many times he found himself doing ministry under his own power. He has found himself trying to live the Christian life on his own.
As Greg share I thought about my own life. I thought about how I have been in this funk that I am in and how I am not sure what is going on. Here is what I am starting to figure out. Much of my life is lived without taping into the power of God. I am no longer depending upon God for everything. Alan Reynolds in his book “Reading the Bible for the Love of God” quotes Douglas Coupland in saying
Now- here is my secret. I tell it to you with an openness of heart that I doubt shall ever achieve again, so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. my secret is that I need God- that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem to be capable of giving; to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love.”
Ready for this: Many Pastors, including me, have been pretending like they can do it on there own. Greg talked about in C.S Lewis book The Voyage of the Dawn Treader the Dragon is stripped of his scales because nobody wants to be a dragon. You know I need to be stripped of my scales. I don’t want to be a follower of Christ who is trying to live under my own power. When I gave my life to Christ I said I was dying to myself to live for Christ. It is not I who live but Christ who lives in me.
Lord I need you every hour I need you. I can not live this life on my own. I do not know how love, to pray, to read my Bible, to be in the ministry without you. Lord God help me to DEPEND UPON YOU ONCE AGAIN. I need you Lord Oh I need you. Help me to depend upon you for your GLORY.
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